I’d only really met one true scrubber before today: Sunshine Cuties Lil’ Angel. I sprayed, I sniffed, I scrubbed.

There have been many perfumes that just weren’t right for me, a few that I didn’t like, but a true scrubber? Racing to the nearest faucet and applying every available soap in an effort to relieve myself of the horror? Today, I’d like to introduce Scrubber Number Two: L’Artisan Parfumeur Premier Figuier.

Now, I liked Diptyque Philosykos, but didn’t love it. Generally the smell of fig makes me happy (how I love Estée Lauder lipsticks!), and I’d been wanting to try Premier Figuier for a while. I bought into a split of two Delrae fragrances, and my awesome, generous, and lovely split host sent along several extras—all things I’ve been wanting to try—and PF was one of them.

Oh the delight! I dabbed it on generously, thinking, “this is going to be great!”. And the first few minutes were great. Very green: my husband said it smelled grassy. I envisioned fig leaves, bark, the earth below, a little touch of ripe flesh… some dreamy milky-ness.

Then, out of nowhere: Cat Puke

Lil’ Angel was a surprise for me, in that I disliked it enough to want to immediately remove it. Wanting to remove PF can’t convey my distress. Should I cut my arm off?

Soap didn’t work. Rubbing alcohol didn’t work. I’m going to have to wait this one out, and let me tell you, I’m not happy about it.