Things I Hate!


Usually I talk about things that I’m excited about, which either means that I think they’re awesome, or I haven’t tried them yet (but want to). Not all of my reviews are glowing reccommendations, but as I peer through previous post titles, things seem a tad unbalanced. Why talk about things I hate? Well, for a couple reasons.

1. I’ll totally discredit myself and you can disregard everything I say (heh)
2. You’ll have a better idea of my tastes, which might make my positive reviews more useful.

With that, I’m kicking off my new “Things I Hate!” series with something I really actively hate. Drum roll please!

I hate Estée Lauder Beyond Paradise.

Why, Luca Turin, did you lead so many of us impressionable perfumistas down the path of destruction? An un-sniffed eBay purchase early in my perfume-obsessed buying career, Beyond Paradise made me question my sense of smell and of taste. In Perfumes, the A-Z Guide, Turin says,

Calice Becker’s Beyond Paradise… hits to perfection the dappled, fresh light of early morning shining on the sort of impossible garden that Swedenborg would have seen in visions and described in detail. Not sure about Beyond, but definitely Paradise (p. 93).

According to Estée Lauder, the notes are Eden’s Mist, Blue Hyacinth, Orange Flower Templar, Jabuticaba Fruit, Laelia Orchid, Crepe Jasmin, Mahonia Japonica, Pink Honeysuckle, Natal Plum Blossoms, Ambrette Seed, Zebrano Wood, Golden Melaleuca Bark.

What? There are about two real perfumery notes in this sweet, gaudy, tropical, mess (just give me this one, k?). I wore it exclusively on a week-long business trip to Orlando, Florida, in hopes that it just needed the right climate, and a little patience, to be appreciated. I was wrong. It went from bad to worse, and I have no idea where I found the tenacity to stick with it after the first nauseating day. Two thumbs down!

Have you ever bought something un-sniffed that you regret?

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7 thoughts on “Things I Hate!

  1. All the blogs caution against un-sniffed purchases, but to me it’s kind of an andventure. I read up on fragrances I think I might be interested in, and sometimes take the plunge. Happily, most times I’m satisfied, But one memorable fail, that Turin and Sanchez raved about was “Missoni”. Nuclear is too kind. I have tried and tried with it, just cannot stand it. It’s now a very expensive room spray.

    1. Hi Josie!

      I think the blogs (myself included) caution against un-sniffed purchases knowing we’re going to do in anyway. LOL.

      If I love something, and write a glowing review (Sonoma Scent Studio, anyone?), and you spend $80 on an un-sniffed bottle of said perfume and hate it… won’t you be annoyed at me? Maybe not—I know that I look at it as an adventure too—albeit an expensive one!

      I think we should just all agree not to buy Turin & Sanchez raves without sniffing them first! 🙂

    2. Luckily, I only had a small tester sample of Missoni. If I’d bought a BOTTLE, oh sweet heavens, I’d have had to wrap it up in plastic bags within plastic bags, duct-taped, and drive it to the dump to get rid of it.

      Chocolate. Gah. The quote should not be, “Women have no business smelling like flowers, ” it should be “Women have no blasted goldurn flippin’ business smelling like chocolate, and that is THAT, people. Do not argue.”

  2. I was given a bottle of Beyond Paradise for Men and I have also seen on youtube a lecture by Luca Turin describing the intricacies of perfection in its composition. I gave that bottle away. I assure you it is as horrible as the feminine version. I suppose Turin had something to do with the production of some aromachemical used in these two. There is no other way to justify his praises. The man has to earn a living.

    1. Lol, or maybe there’s an aromachemical that smells disgusting to some, and delicious to others…

      It’s true, he’s got to earn a living. And so many of his reviews have given me so much delight, that I don’t really hold this one against him 🙂

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